According to national planning platform The Knot, a whopping 76% of all couples receive some sort of financial help to reduce wedding costs. But having a conversation about your wedding budget with a parent, or even grandparent, isn’t like asking for money for the movies. Learn how to manage expectations – and your wedding budget – with these helpful tips.
Preparing for a wedding budget conservation
Most wedding budgets these days are a combination of the couple’s finances and help from parents, grandparents, even aunts and uncles. And while having that financial support can be an act of love, don’t be surprised if there aren’t some stipulations as to how that money can be used.
Before having a conversation about your wedding budget, get your own financial house in order. You’ll probably have additional items but start by putting together some rough numbers on key wedding expenses. The odds are good that parents and grandparents have no idea how much the following cost:
- Venue
- Catering/Bar
- Attire
- Photography
- Entertainment
- Cake/Desserts
- Flowers/Decor
- Invitations
Then figure out how much you can realistically afford on your own. And don’t forget to prioritize these items – some couples want to focus on food and drink, while others are all about quality wedding images.
This is your wedding budget base – and be prepared for it to be the majority, if not all, of your budget. Everything else is icing on the wedding cake!
Who pays for what when it comes to a wedding
Tradition still abides when it comes to wedding finances with a bride’s parents paying for the reception and the groom’s family hosting the rehearsal dinner. But today’s couples come in a broad spectrum and blended families are often the norm.
At the beginning of your wedding budget conversation, it’s important to clarify how the money will be used. Some parents and grandparents are happy to contribute what they can, and the funds can be used however the couple sees fit.
For other family members, however, there may be some requests as to how their contributions are used. A bride’s grandmother may want to pay for the bouquets or the cake, for example. It’s important to find out those wishes and honor them in the best way possible.
7 Tips for how to have a conversation about your wedding budget
Now that you have some wedding costs and a plan for your own financial contribution, it’s time to gather those family members for an adult conversation. You want to have this discussion before you book the first venue tour. Here are some tips to help guide the conversation.
1. Choose the Right Time and Setting: Pick a calm, private moment where you won’t be rushed. Maybe over coffee at home or a casual lunch—somewhere comfortable.
2. Start with Gratitude: Open by acknowledging everything they’ve done for you and how much you appreciate their support, whether emotional, financial, or otherwise. It sets a respectful tone.
3. Frame It as a Team Effort: Make it about working together to create a day that works for everyone, rather than presenting it as a financial request. Look at this as a collaboration of love and not a transaction.
4. Be Clear but Gentle: Ask directly, but kindly, if they are comfortable contributing, and if so, what they might be thinking.
5. Give Space to Think: This is a big ask, so the answer shouldn’t be given lightly.
6. Discuss Expectations: If family members offer help, it’s good to clarify whether they have expectations. These could include, in addition to designating how funds are used, incorporating any family or cultural traditions or including certain guests to honor your parents/grandparents.
7. Respect Their Answer: No matter what they say, show appreciation and respect. Money conversations can be emotional, and you want to keep your relationship strong.
Your wedding budget – what’s next?
Remember that list at the top of this post? Now that you have a clearer picture of your wedding finances, you can match your expectations and priorities with reality. Focus on the top three things you as a couple want more than anything on your wedding day and make that your budget’s foundation.
For many couples, the perfect NC wedding venue is a top priority. From weekday countryside elopements to gala receptions for up to 200, Oakhaven offers a variety of wedding ceremony and reception options, including all-inclusive packages.
Come see why Oakhaven is a favorite wedding destination for both couples, families, and friends. Schedule your tour today.
